The echoes of my screams for help
Resound within the hollow of my soul.
The pounding of the waves of doubt
And want erode my life, taking heavy toll.
The mysteries of what and why
Were once just trivial mental games
That I allowed my mind to play.
But now my soul - and not my mind -
Is longing in an earnest way.
And I have lost control.

I gave my mind the noble task
Of judging the validity
Of various cures for my internal pain.
But it's denials for lack of proof
Have only kindled more the flame -
The aching, all-consuming flame -
That burns within me searching for the truth.

My body aches without good cause
And inside throbs convulsively.
My mind has failed to meet its charge
And this has devastated me,
For I have lost control.

Confusion reigns,
Debilitating my attempts
To find a reasoned path to God,
And so I know I've lost control.

It makes no sense
To follow on my present course.
The mind is blind
To matters of the soul
As eyes are blind
To matters of the mind.
And now I've finally come to know
That I have never had control.